I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
COCAINE IS GR8
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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