How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
