whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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