You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
