non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
