Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
