Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize