Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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