Kiss
Puke
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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