u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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