Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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