he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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