The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
