Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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