Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
