Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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