dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
