He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
