Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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