suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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