Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
