Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize