So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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