Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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