I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
