you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I looked at my own cervix.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
