you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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