I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Life is so much better after having sex.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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