We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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