So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
