hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize