Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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