put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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