Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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