Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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