i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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