He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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