I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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