...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
