There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
