Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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