a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
