PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
