you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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