I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize