It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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