Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
