I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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