She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
