North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
