Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You pole danced in your parka.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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