so explain again why im purple
no
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
