make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
