when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
