new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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