did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize