im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
