There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
