I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
