I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
