tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I looked at my own cervix.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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