D3 body, D1 cock
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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