i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
